It's been a rough week and a half. We had the flu run through our Brood which thankfully baby and I did NOT get. . . . FYI - prayers work! Then recovering the house, mess, routine has been a sort of slow go. Then still, add in issues with toddler discipline - which is starting to become all too consuming - and sleep deprivation from Nattie Bear deciding to wake in the middle of the night and not fall back asleep for a couple of hours at a time. I'm exhausted and at the end of my rope. I'd like to say that I prayed, trusted God and all is made right. But it isn't. I pray but relief doesn't come this time. Trusting God? I'm trying but even that is hard lately.
Ephesians 4:1 (NLT) says "Therefore I, a prisoner for serving the Lord, beg you to lead a life worthy of your calling, for you have been called by God."
My calling? I thought my calling was to be here, home with my kids to help them and myself grow in our faith, love for each other and others around us, start a new and healthy family legacy. But feeling tired, frustrated and overwhelmed (the negative mom trinity) are surely the antithesis to this calling. The negative mom trinity is quick to steal joy and covert in discouraging. But I need to get back on track. Instead of being pushed away, I need to come closer - to the Father and those that seem to cause me distress. It's not that simple. Sin and brokeness being a factor distorts that.
Really, it's all about perspective. My calling is here at home with my family - whether I'm 'feeling it' or not. I can't lose sight of that! However, I don't want to sugarcoat things and give a Christian bubble gum pop answer that it will all be ok. It may not. I may keep dealing with some of these struggles and it may get worse before it gets better. Only God knows the outcome on the other side of the tapestry. . . I just have to refine my patience, be more humble and wait for His results. ♥
Ephesians 3:20 (NLT): "Now glory be to God! By his mighty power at work within us, he is able to accomplish infinitely more than we would ever dare to ask or hope."
This is a great video from Francis Chan which shows how small we really are in the grand scheme of God's creation. It's humbling and at the same time truly awe inspiring to see that God is still so invested in us and loves us desite our flaws and despite our 'smallness'. Great way to help me keep some Spiritual Perspective today.