Weeds In Your Garden

With many days this past March seeming more Summer-ish than the outer endings of Winter/start of crisp Spring, it has caused some vegetation confusion in my flower beds.  During a time I should not even have to worry about weeds cropping up, I have seen the inner working of their mayhem begin!  Now that weather has again settled back into its usual equilibrium and the cool crispness has once again returned, I must admit that I am not too motivated to pick weeds in the cold.  So they sat.  Allowed to flourish just a little longer.  Now it's May and my flower beds look borderline atrocious!  *sigh*

Thinking of the work that needs to get done to make my garden a bit more presentable, I was struck by the irony of this whole scenario.  Is not my life a walking testament to this?  Like my front flower bed, I too have allowed 'weeds' to grow and fester in my life.  These 'weeds' have been people who have used their influence to grow and choke out bits of me.  See, weeds don't care how beautiful the flower is next to them.  Weeds will suck the life & nutrients out of the ground whether you are a rose, a lily, or even another weed.  Without reason or apology, they quickly overtake a whole garden area and choke out whatever is around them.  Destined to put their need of life before all other surrounding vegetation.  Survival of the fittest. 

Could I have been mistaken?  Could I have been oversensitive as to the intention of those who appear as 'weeds' to me now?  Yes, this has been me.  I was lazy.  I was afraid.  I was confused on how to de-weed my life.  So I let the weeds multiply, grow and further suffocate my Spirit.  But I no longer feel compelled to keep 'weeds' around me.   As 1 Corinthians 15:33 mentions, ". . . bad company corrupts good character". 


Jesus' parables of the weeds in Matthew 13:24-30 can serve as a reminder . . . .

Jesus told them another parable: “The kingdom of heaven is like a man who sowed good seed in his field.  But while everyone was sleeping, his enemy came and sowed weeds among the wheat, and went away.  When the wheat sprouted and formed heads, then the weeds also appeared.  “The owner’s servants came to him and said, ‘Sir, didn’t you sow good seed in your field? Where then did the weeds come from?’  
‘An enemy did this,’ he replied.
“The servants asked him, ‘Do you want us to go and pull them up?’
 ‘No,’ he answered, ‘because while you are pulling the weeds, you may uproot the wheat with them. Let both grow together until the harvest. At that time I will tell the harvesters: First collect the weeds and tie them in bundles to be burned; then gather the wheat and bring it into my barn.’”


DO NOT be mistaken.  In our life, there will be weeds and they will be planted by the enemy!  We are not to be naive and think that everyone has our best interest at heart, that everyone loves us and that everyone is there to help us.  Yes, we are to love others.  Yes, we are to have mercy.  And Yes, we are to emulate the same grace that God has given to us.  However, I also believe the Bible when it speaks of evil around us.

Matthew 10:16Look, I am sending you out as sheep among wolves. So be as shrewd as snakes and harmless as doves.

We are to live among the weeds; not become them or be choked out by them.  We must be discerning of those around us.  There are many who are 'weeds'. . . who are malevolent, do not seek repentance or change and only seek to harm.  We are not to entangle ourself in that, enable their sin or be a part of it. 

Yes, sometimes that means you will have to pray, lightly weed your garden, pray some more and then leave the final weeding up to the Lord.  Ultimately, it will be God who will cast the final judgement on those who have spent their life being 'weeds'.  The parable tells us this when Jesus returns and harvests His followers. . . . forever separating us from the weeds. 

Romans 2:5-6
"But because you are stubborn and refuse to turn from your sin, you are storing up terrible punishment for yourself. For a day of anger is coming, when God’s righteous judgment will be revealed.  He will judge everyone according to what they have done."



Is it time to weed your garden??

***Linked to:   The Better Mom

M A R G I N

Margin.  Do you have it? 

Credit: revolutionannapolis.com

And NO I don't mean the outer area on your paper. . . . though the concept is similar.  I'm talking about the space we have left in the day for meaningful things.  Do you know what that is in your life?  Many days it doesn't seem like there's much margin left at the end of the day.  Many of our nights are fraught with a non-sleeping baby, early waking toddler and night owl older kids (13 and almost 9 yrs.) so you can imagine the yin-yang pull on both S-Money$ and I to accommodate and meet everyones' 'needs. . . . Oh, I guess S-Money$ and I should be meeting each other's needs too - OOPS! 

Due to some of the craziness in our life, I decided to pick up the book 'Breathe - Creating Space for God in a Hectic Life' by Keri Wyatt Kent.  I received it several years ago through our church's MOPS group (Mothers of PreSchoolers).  Years later, the words Keri shares are not only uplifting but definitely an encouragement for me to not get discouraged. . . but to keep aiming for that 'Sabbath Simplicity' that she speaks about in her book.

Within the first chapter I am convicted and humbled by the point she brings up,

"As much as you may think you want that intimacy with your heavenly Father, if you keep yourself too busy, you will squeeze that relationship to the edges of your life.  It can happen whether you are too busy with your kids and home, your career, or even doing 'religious' things like teaching Sunday school or doing your homework for Bible study."  

Having good intentions that don't materialize into action is futile.  Each day, though, I'm faced with this reality.  The issue with margin lies in my own choices - I know this.  Like I shared with good friends the other night over dinner, I try to be everything for everyone - SuperMom for hubby, kids, etc. - but is that really glorifying the Father if by the end of the day I'm ready to collapse in a heap in my bed?  If I volunteer only to dread the impending date out of sheer exhaustion & stress?  Jesus was busy yet he was able to carve out the margin he needed to rest and be with the Father.  Shouldn't this be more my example than everyone else I see running ragged as I mindlessly follow?


But I am not alone.  I am not the only mother/wife/person searching for some sort of balance in life.  Searching for that area of margin where I can live out 'Sabbath Simplicity' - or even just take in the moment and breathe.  It's not just Keri's words that bring me to this realization that I need some change in my life and attitude, but also God's Word.  His promise in Matthew 11:28 seem like a cool drink for my already parched heart. . . "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest." 

He sends the invitation - "Come to me. . ".  All I have to do is respond.  I don't have all the answers everyday.  If I did, then stress/exhaustion/frustration/tiredness wouldn't exist.  But I do have an invitation.  An invite to not only come to Him but also to seek his calling on what the margin in my life should be . . "and I will give you rest." 

Dare I respond? 


**Linked to: Raising Homemakers / Raising Arrows  / Women Living Well

Honest About Motherhood

• Mommy 1: "OMG!  My kids are driving me CRAZY! What about you? What's the WORST part about being a mom?" 
• Mommy 2: "Oh, there's nothing that bad.  It's all a blessing!"
• Mommy 1: "What?  C'mon, really?"
• Mommy 2: *pauses to think*  "Well, I don't know.  Nothing that I can really think of off-hand.  I just rely on God to get me through"
• Mommy 1: *internally screaming to self - "What do you mean, there's nothing you can think     of?"*  . . . . . finally says out loud to Mommy 2, "Oh, well that's good."

Ever have a similar conversation with a mom like this where it seemed everyday was filled with butterflies, rainbows, homeschooling, bible stories, organic food, hugs/kisses, singing, etc. . . . . and dare I say - unicorns??  I came across a great blog posting titled, "It Doesn't Help Anyone To Not Be Honest About Motherhood" by blogger Sarah Mae.  Her beginning paragraph struck a chord with me:

"I remember a few years ago when I was having a really hard time with the day to day of life. I had two little ones and was pregnant. I felt very lonely, I was overwhelmed, and I suffered from tremendous guilt that I wasn’t doing enough or being a good enough wife, mother, or homemaker."

It struck a chord because after having our oldest three kids approximately 4.5 - 5 years apart, I too find myself in the "Two Littles and One On the Way" phase as I persevere through the last trimester with baby #5.   Do I feel lonely?  At times.  Am I overwhelmed?  Yes - more often than I'd like to admit.  Do I carry a baggage of guilt through my day?  Undoubtedly - YES!  There is always something I didn't get to, a request I delay, A bible that collects dust, playtime that is missed, time that it lost.  All things that, when I'm honest, make me uncomfortable.

It can become far too easy in searching for answers from other moms to become even more discouraged.  Please don't misunderstand my above Mommy conversation example.  Relying on God, homeschooling, organic, etc. are not bad.  But I believe when we take those aspects through our day, sugarcoat a bit then dispense to other moms without the reality of being sinful, human and making mistakes, it can be damaging as well as discouraging.  Though there are many great 'mommy' blogs and no shortage of moms willing to offer advice - we must be careful to filter what is truly helpful vs. adding their judgement/condescending suggestion in with our already hot mess of a moment.  Because that's what it is - a moment.  It's only a season and will pass. . . . or at least that's what I keep telling myself as I squint my eyes through the storm and repeat mantra, repeat mantra, repeat mantra!! 

During Jesus' ministry, he knew what fate lay ahead and when talking to his disciples he made sure to be honest about what was to come.

*Matthew 16:21*
From then on Jesus began to tell his disciples plainly that it was necessary for him to go to Jerusalem, and that he would suffer many terrible things at the hands of the elders, the leading priests, and the teachers of religious law. He would be killed, but on the third day he would be raised from the dead.


*Matthew 17:22-23*
After they gathered again in Galilee, Jesus told them, “The Son of Man is going to be betrayed into the hands of his enemies. He will be killed, but on the third day he will be raised from the dead.” And the disciples were filled with grief.

*Matthew 20:17-18* 
As Jesus was going up to Jerusalem, he took the twelve disciples aside privately and told them what was going to happen to him. “Listen,” he said, “we’re going up to Jerusalem, where the Son of Man will be betrayed to the leading priests and the teachers of religious law. They will sentence him to die.


See, Jesus didn't sugarcoat the truth!  He didn't tell his disciples, "Hey dudes - look, see I have somewhere to go and, um, I'll be back to hang out in like 3 days.  OK?"  NO!  He knew his mission.  He knew how it would affect others, how they needed to prepare and he layed it out there.  No questions, no guilt, no lies.  You know how I think he did it?  First, submission to the Father - that's a given!  But also because he was first honest with himself.  He didn't have to sugarcoat because he was confident in the mission set before him.  He knew what he had to do and the importance of it.  There was no need to lie to himself or others. 

But what about me??  Or what about you??  Here's some more for thought . . . . Do we even know our mission in motherhood? If so, do we accept it?  If we embellish, is it because we don't want someone else to feel uncomfortable by our raw feelings or is it our own discomfort/feelings of inadequacy that we dislike and try to hide through walls of a smile or 'I'm doing great!' answers??   

We have to be honest with ourselves first.  Does motherhood suck sometimes.  Yes!  But do the bad days diminish the good days/moments that God has placed before us?  Definitely NO!  And hopefully through that honesty, intimacy can lead others struggling with the same plight to reach out and help pull us out of the drowning pool we know as 24/7 Everyday life. . . . .
. . . . or better yet, we can be the encourager that another mother needs to get through those tough seasons of life.  :)


**Linked To: Raising Arrows, The Straightened Path, The Better Mom